The first five –awake- minutes of my day went so well. Reece crawled into our bed so I turned on some cartoons to snag a couple more minutes of shut-eye. Just after 7, Kylee started babbling from her room just as Kyle came home from PT. He scooped her up, changed her, and plopped her in the bed with Reece and I. I had my whole little family within reach; things were great!
Then something changed and I can’t pinpoint why. I was just in a funk. The kids were normal at breakfast, Kyle was home longer than usual, and I got a good night sleep so why I was feeling ‘down’ was unknown to me.
I didn’t go for my long walk yesterday. Things needed to be done and I was short on time so when something had to be sacrificed, the only solution was to forgo my long walk. I planned on walking today but I didn’t want to. It was a good thing I set out clothes the night before and quickly got dressed before coming down stairs because if I hadn’t I probably would have passed on the walk again today with no real reason besides my mood.
After walking, enjoying the fresh air, sunshine, and cool breeze I came home and quickly slipped back into the funk. Again, the kids were good and there is no clearly identifiable reason why I would be so sour today but I was. I set Reece in front of the TV and let him watch two episodes of Mickey as I tried to perk myself up. I opened up the windows and picked up the house some more. It made things a little better.
Then I remembered making plans to meet a friend and her two kids at the local splash-pad. I dreaded it. I lacked energy and motivation so wrestling two kids into swimwear and greasing them up in sunscreen carried no appeal for me.
But I did it.
I took the kids to the splash pad and let them be kids. And you know what? I changed me. I soaked up every second. Giggles and splashing and running and making friends and screaming and more giggles and taking in every drop of sunshine my skin would allow.
Turns out that is exactly what I needed. I need to force myself out into the world when I am having a bad day and let my kids be kids. And I need to pull a page from my kids’ book and just have fun. Be a kid. Giggle. Realize that nothing was holding me down besides myself and isn’t that just sad?
I am happy right now; back to my old self. I am sun-kissed and full of energy. This is the person I should be every day and I will force myself to this state whenever I feel differently.
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