My little beauty,
One day you will grow up and discover that your mommy isn’t the most beautiful woman in the eyes of the world. I will not grace the cover of glossy magazines (if they still exist), I will not be profiled on entertainment news shows, and no one will copy my style. I will, however, be confident in myself and my image. I will show you the good and the bad and teach you to celebrate both.
Lately, I have been getting healthier but mostly for the wrong reason. I was concerned with how my clothes fit, if things were bulging out, and reducing the jiggle. I have been eating better and working out but I have discovered that no matter how I look I always criticize my current state and obsess for better. There is nothing wrong with getting healthy as long as you take a moment to appreciate your accomplishments because that is what it’s all about.
Today I make a promise to be a less narrow minded woman. I will no longer focus on things that sag or bulge over but rather be satisfied with the steps I have taken, achievements I have made. I will look in the mirror and project confidence, satisfaction, accomplishment. I will smile.
I know it is cliché but society is placing unrealistic expectations on women then judging them for not meeting them. We see magazine covers touting how celebrities quickly get their body back after having a baby and it forces us regular moms into thinking we aren’t trying hard enough. I am guilty of succumbing to this pressure. I try! I work my ass off –if I had an ass to work off- but I will never look like they do and I am finally okay with that.
I have never been confident. I may act like I am but you can find my sucking it in and checking myself out when I pass a mirror. Then I became a mom to a beautiful little girl. It became apparent that the only opinion that should matter to me is my own. I began to look at myself through your eyes. I asked myself “How do I want my little girl to perceive me?” and “How do I want to show her how to perceive herself?”
You gave me stretch marks and confidence. My boobies are smaller but so are my insecurities. There are days I stink, my hair is a mess, my clothes don’t match and I am exhausted but when you see me walk into a room your face lights up. I can see it now, even though you are still so little, that I am the center of your world. When we look in the mirror together you smoosh your face next to mine and smile at us. You always want to be with me doing the things that I do. You want to share your things and you will try anything as long as it comes from me. I promise to be mindful with this influence I have and strive to teach you the right lessons.
I never want you to be unhappy with your image. You are an extension of me. You even look like me (some). If I don’t love me how can I expect you to love you? I need to set an example. You already look up at me and mimic the things I do. I need to show you that it doesn’t matter what we are told we need to look like; as long as you are happy with yourself that is all that matters.
I will no longer perpetuate self-image issues and insecurities. I will eat a greasy cheeseburger with my family when we dine-out instead of –unsatisfyingly- ordering a salad. I will wear a bikini even though my stretch marks are showing and I have rolls when I move certain ways. I will smile every time I look at myself in the mirror and I will mean it!
You, my little girl, are beautiful, and I hope you can see that every single day. I will show you how.