Monthly Archives: May 2012

Insecurities

Standard

Nicole, Reece and I went to the pool again today.  Being Thursday, it was nice because there were very few people there compared to when we went over the weekend.  Most of the people who were there were moms and their preschool aged children and preggos.  I am both.

During a break from the water Nicole and I started talking about body insecurities, especially when in a swim suit.  Looking around we noticed nearly all the moms and moms-to-be were wearing full coverage swimwear!  Some in swim dresses.  Now I am not in love with my body right now, being almost eight months along, but I’ll be damned if you told me I had to cover up.  No way!  I am wearing the same bikini I was wearing last summer.  I am not ashamed or insecure of my belly hanging out.  It is quite apparent that I am pregnant so if anyone has a problem with my belly it is on them, not me.  I actually kinda like my big-ole-belly and I LOVE being in the sun.

On a previous trip to the pool Nicole and I stopped into the shopette -it’s a gas station on a military base- to get something to drink.  The girl behind the counter saw our swimsuits under our clothes and asked with a thick accent if it would be weird for her to show up at the pool in a bikini.  She had to be further along than me.  I lifted up my tank to show her my belly and that I was not wearing a full suit.  She laughed and said in Italy is is not strange to show off the belly but she’s heard that she may get weird looks in America.  I am happy to say we saw her in the pool today wearing a bikini and belly showing!

We also saw a group of teenage girls who were wearing full coverage suits.  There were maybe five of them, all about 14-16 years old and as each one took off her clothes she tried to cover herself with her arms.  They all had good bodies, nothing at all they needed to be insecure about.  They quickly hurried to the concealment of the pool.  I remember I was like that at that age but I still find it heart-breaking that they felt like they needed to cover-up.

I just don’t understand why ladies feel like they need to cover-up at the pool, especially if it’s mostly around other ladies.  If you are uncomfortable with your body then fine, wear whatever makes you feel comfortable.  But I don’t think we should feel like we are being judged by anyone else.  I have no problem seeing stretch-marks, jiggle or cellulite -gasp!- as long as that person isn’t ashamed of it.  Own it!  I own my little ass.  My husband jokes I have a ‘frog butt’ because frogs have no butt.  I am not in the best shape but I am by no means interested in hiding my body.  I hope it is all in our heads.  I hope that no one is actively judging us while we are at the pool but no one can know for sure.  The group of girls may have thought I was judging their bodies, and I guess I was, but I wasn’t looking for the bad.  How do we all get past the idea that someone is judging us?  We all have insecurities so is it possible that all of humanity make a collective agreement to get over it?  No more shuddering when a woman with stretchmarks or a full term baby belly walks past.  No more chuckles when we see cellulite.  No more snide comments when a person doesn’t hide their jiggle.  I know I’m over it.  You won’t catch me saying ANYTHING negative about other girls, women or moms!

Advertisements

Shared Hobbies

Standard

Would you think a couple would last if the hobbies they enjoyed were not ones they did together?  I have heard that for a marriage to be successful long term the two partners must share a hobby.  If the two’s hobbies are different or do not involve each other then their relationship has a greater chance of not lasting.  I do agree that shared interests will bring the couple closer together I do not think that not having one dooms a marriage.

Kyle and I do not have a lot of hobbies in common.  Usually when we put the baby down we break off into our own thing, he likes to play video games and I like to read.  If a stranger were to walk into our house on a random night anytime after 9, he’d probably see us in separate rooms and hear absolute silence.  On the surface, it may sound like Kyle and I don’t have much hope for the long run.  But ask any parent and they’ll tell you about the magical time after putting the little ones down when the house is quiet and you can do adult activities again; it is beautiful!  I have tried reading a book during Mickey Mouse but have found myself rereading the same line over and over again.  Kyle sometime attempts to log on to his games but the second he puts his headset Reece comes around the corner and wants a headset of his own, to put his hands on the keyboard and to touch the screen.

We’re still a young family so I’d like to count child rearing as an activity we both take part in.  We both like to cook -not always together because Kyle says I ‘side seat cook’- and cleaning is something both of us are responsible for.  Are these hobbies?  Maybe, maybe not.  But I’d like to think it’s better when doing it together.  Running errands isn’t the highlight of my week but when Kyle and I are doing them together we make the best of it.  We people watch and make fools of ourselves in public -strictly for Reece entertainment purposes, not!- and that helps lighten a boring situation.  When the weather is nice we like to take Reece to the park or the pool or even just outside to play in the driveway.  These things we do as a family in our spare time may not be considered a hobby but we always have fun while doing them, together.

Before having kids, Kyle and I spent a lot more time doing shared hobbies such as running, going to the gym, checking out new restaurants and any military sponsored events that interested us; we liked getting out of the house.  I think I would be more concerned about us not sharing hobbies if we didn’t have kids and we didn’t spend a good portion of our time together.  Kids take up a lot of time so it’s nice to wind down doing our own things at the end of the day.  I think I would go nuts if I didn’t have any ‘me’ time at all.  Adults need that.  People sometimes forget that every person had a lot more ‘me’ time before getting into a relationship and that is what made that person who he is.  I love my husband but there are times when I want him to go away so I can crack open a good book and not have to worry about entertaining anyone else but me.

Once the kids are a bit older Kyle and I will have more time to ourselves and each other so I don’t worry that we only get a date-night every once in a while now.  I don’t let it bother me that we don’t stare lovingly into each other’s eyes from the moment Reece goes to bed until the moment we go to bed.  That is terribly unrealistic. We still love getting out of the house and doing some of the things we did before kids it just takes more time and effort. I consider Reece -and Kylee, here pretty soon- to be our shared hobby. We created this hobbly -quite literally- so if it is the only hobby we share for a little while, as long as we still enjoy being around each other, I am okay with that.

Fifty Shades of Reluctance

Standard

Here I go.  I have been on the fence about giving in to the hype of Fifty Shades of Grey.  Should I get it?  Renting it from the library is out of the question since wait lists across the country are hundreds of people long.  If I do get it do I buy the paper format which I love so much or do I get it on my Kindle like the rest of the books I’m not too serious about?  

I am not proud of my book snobby-ness.  I really try to read books that leap into mass popularity.  Harry Potter, Twilight, Wicked, Hunger Games and various books from Oprah’s Book Club have all made their way to my doorstep for my literary consumption.  I want to get into the hype.  Who doesn’t want to be part of the ‘in-crowd’?  But before I even flip the front cover I turn to stone.  I become so critical that I have a hard time enjoying what I am reading.  I have been in chapter four of Twilight since 2009, chapter three of Hunger Games for three months and re-started Wicked countless times since 2006.  Harry Potter stole my heart when they were first published and I was a child; long before I became a snob which I am grateful for.  I am determined to read these faddish titles and hopefully, fall in love with them.

Then I read an article on the ’embarrassment factor’ associated with the Fifity Shades  trilogy.  People interviewed admitted to being more embarrassed to be seen buying/reading this book than buying condoms or tampons!  I have only heard about the raunchy-ness not so I can’t form a valid opinion of these embarrassed people; but really?  I have never been ashamed of personal care purchases but I guess I can concede that I have bought the Sookie Stackhouse series (the books that inspired HBO’s True Blood) on my Kindle because I didn’t want to be seen reading such trashy books.  I wasn’t embarrassed by the sex or vampires but rather by the quality of writing.  Yea, it is crap but I became absolutely absorbed in the pages -screen, haha- when I forced myself to quit being so damn judgmental.

So I think I’m going to do it.  I am going to read this book that has taken American women by storm.  Can I get my snobby self to shut-up long enough to get through Book one?  Will I plow through it in days like some women have or will it take me a few years to get to the end?  I don’t embarrass easily buy will the smutty-ness force me to leave it home when I could be reading it in public with my son near by?  We’ll see!  Either way, when I do finish you can expect to hear -or read- my two cents.

To give credit where credit is due, image stolen from www.amazon.com

My Birthday

Standard

What a fantastic birthday I’ve had today!

I am pretty lucky in that my birthday usually lands within Memorial Day weekend so not only is the whole country celebrating the unofficial start of summer but my husband usually has the weekend off.

This morning Reece slept in ’til 8.  I was shocked.  We got a full, extended night of sleep.  I woke up before he did and checked the house to make sure he didn’t get up without me knowing and go downstairs to play by himself.  Soon after my check I heard him giggling which was quickly followed by him opening his door.  He came strutting into our room like he owned the place; grinning ear to ear.  He scurried up into our bed and started cuddling.  It was awesome!

The afternoon brought us back to the on-base pool where we and the neighbors relaxed in the cool pool while the sun beat down.  This being our second trip to the pool I was happy to see Reece getting more and more comfortable with the water.  He lets Kyle turn him on his back while he pulls him around the pool.  Hopefully this means Reece will be floating in no time.  We also saw more kicking and paddling but he still favors hanging onto me and splashing.  I really could spend all day in the pool with my husband and son if burning wasn’t something we had to worry about.

Dinner was spent with some wonderful friends followed by some Cold Stone ice cream.  I feel really lucky that we’ve met and gotten so close to some amazing people as quickly as we did.  In the military, friends become family and I am glad I was able to spend my birthday with my military family.

So now I am 26.  It is crazy how fast time goes by but I am so grateful for all that I have and all that is yet to come.  I say it all the time but I know that I am living the dream.  I have a beautiful -growing- family, friends in all corners of the Earth, promise for an amazing future and the appetite to take it all in.  We have so much ahead of us so I am not going to be sad that I am now closer to 30 rather than 20.  By no means am I looking forward to getting old but I will not dwell on the passage of time, I will celebrate it.  I love my past and love my future.  Not to sound cliche but I truly try to live every single day as it is a gift.  So thank you for this gift.  I look forward to unwrapping it every morning as the sun comes up.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

On another note today is the day we honor our fallen service members.  For me, it was an honor to meet a handful brave men whose lives were cut short.  I am proud of all of our men and women who serve our country and honored to be surrounded by those brave enough to put their lives at risk for America.  Our troops are an extraordinary group of people so please thank them every chance you get.

Fun at the Pool

Standard

Today we took Reece to the pool!  He has always been a water baby so it came as no surprise that he had a blast.

He is already kicking his feet and a few times we got him paddeling! I hope to have him swimming by the end of the summer.

This is our water baby when it was time to leave the pool.  He cried and screamed ‘POOL’ on the drive back home.  We felt bad so we set up the little pool in the driveway until dinnertime.
image

I’m kinda bummed because I had a really awesome video of him swimming but it is not uploading.  Good news is we plan on hitting up the pool tomorrow so I will get another shot.

You Know When the Men Are Gone (part 1)

Standard

I am halfway through this book and if I had not promised myself to not put down a book because I don’t like it, I probably would have stopped days ago.  I originally saw it in the PX (Post Exchange) and it caught my attention a few times so I checked out the reviews on Amazon before making the purchase.  I had real hope for this book.  It is about current US Army life, takes place in an actual Army base and fictionalizes something my husband and I actually went through.  Although my husband is Army we live on a ‘Joint Base’ meaning all branches and civilians live and work here -what happened when a bunch of military instillations we too costly to keep operating so some linked up making a ‘Joint Base’- so I sometimes miss the Army life.  I hoped this book would bring me back a little familiarity.  I will reiterate that I have not yet finished this book but I have to write a little something about it while it’s on my mind.  After I do finish I will write an amended review but for now, this is it.

I HATE THIS BOOK!!!

First off the stereotypes are so fricken cliche I thought it was a joke.  The first section -‘section’ is because they are little stories, not chapters- is about this one wife whose husband is deployed and is getting caught up in the neighbor business.  This neighbor is foreign born who ‘stole’ her husband from his wife while he was deployed and she was his barber.   The next is about a soldier who begins to have feelings for his female interpreter in Iraq.  Another section deals with a wife who goes into her deployed husband’s email and finds something to make her suspect he is cheating.  These are only a few, this book is made up of eight cliches -I mean stories- .

Secondly, these are just a jumble of non-connected short stories.  They may tie into one another at some point but I am half-way through and besides the Rear D Captain there is no other character who makes an appearance in another story.  It is maddening.  What happens to this person?  What happens when that person comes home?  Did he?  Did she?  I know the author may want leave the reader to come up with their own conclusions but damn lady, tie up a few loose strings, would ya?

And finally, I know this is a personal one and most civilians who do not know a thing about military life need some things explained but I am so over the explanations!  Rear Detachment, Family Readiness Group and Forward Operating Base are some of the many that keep coming up.  I know those as rear d, FRG and FOB.  Acronyms and shortening of terms are so frequent in the military life I sometimes have to remind myself to not speak like that when talking to friends and family back home.  I don’t have a problem that the author feels she needs to break things down for the average reader but I’m pretty sure most peopled have heard IED at some point in the news and calling it an Improvised Explosive Device more than once gets annoying and redundant.  Service members do not usually use these elongated terms and for the author to keep injecting them into the dialog seems unrealistic to me. Maybe an initial explination and a glossary would fix this for me.

I am surprised Amazon reviewers have given it  4.3 out of 5 stars.  They are saying the stories ‘leave you wanting more’……. YES, the stories are so bluntly cut off I’m not sure if they are even complete.  ‘The characters are so developed’….. Seriously? These stories are ten or so pages long, these characters aren’t developed at all.   ‘They are linked though a shared setting’….  Well that is right on point.  The base is the only link between the characters/stories.

I will finish this book.  I will finish this book.   I will finish this book.  I will finish this book.   I will finish this book.  I will finish this book.   I will finish this book.  I will finish this book.   I hope.

To give credit where credit is due, image stolen from www.amazon.com

Book info. You Know When the Men Are Gone by Siobhan Fallon.  Copyright 2011 New America Library, USA.

The Hospital Run-Around

Standard

I dont know how it works in a civilian hospital or doctor’s office because both if my pregnancies have been through the military system. Everything is so fragmented.  To get my pregnancy test I had to go to my PCM.  Paperwork was at the OB clinic.  For my initial ultrasound I had to go to the GYN clinic.  Appointments are back at the OB clinic. Anatomy scan (measurements and gender) were done in Radiology.  Bloodwork and glucose test are done in the Lab.  Deliver is upstairs in Labor and Delivery (L&D).  Needless to say having a baby in a military hospital can get complicated.

Today I was in the hospital to do my required 28 week glucose tolerance test and to get a RhoGAM shot because of my negative blood type.  Both can be a long process -timewise- even in their simplest form but somehow today’s adventure is not going to be simple.

Let me start this story on Wednesday when I had a routine OB appointment.  The provider I saw seemed to rub me the wrong way.  She was passively condescending and rude.  After I told her I was not able to do the glucose test or RhoGAM shot that day she chuckled then told me no less than four times, ‘Don’t forget this paperwork when you ARE ABLE to do it.’  She even put it in my purse and told my friend who came with me to remind me to bring the paperwork.  As we were leaving she made sure to tell me again to remember my paperwork and that it NEEDED to be done this week.

So I came back to the hospital today, Kyle and Reece came with me, to get both things done.  First off, I go to the lab because they will need to draw blood for the RhoGAM and I would need to wait an hour after drinking the glucola for them to take the blood for that test too.  I went to the lab in the new building, hit the button for the glucose test and immediately get called back.  -Awesome!  This is going to be quick!-  The guy comes back and tells me this lab isn’t able to do the RhoGAM -ok, no problem- and the doctor didn’t put in the order for the glucose test -WHAT!-  This stupid provider who harped on me throughout the entire appointment on Wednesday about not forgetting FORGOT to put the order in the system for the test!  No biggs, nothing I can’t handle.  We walk across the hospital to the OB clinic and ask the receptionist to have the order put in.  Easy.  She comes back says its in the computer and I can head to the other lab to get this process started.  When I get to the correct lab the receptionist says the order isn’t in the computer yet but it could take a minute and we should start the setup for the RhoGAM.  I would have to have blood drawn then take it to the blood bank to drop it off where they would make the shot (it would take an hour to mix which is as long as I was required to wait for the other test -being supervised in the lab waiting room- so the two ‘waiting’ hours can run concurrently).  The receptionist looks at my ‘don’t forget your paperwork’ paperwork and tells me the provider didn’t sign it!  WHAT?!?!  She was so fricken insistent that I not forget my paperwork and she FORGOT to sign it!!!  I go back to the OB clinic to the nice receptionist who tried to help but since today is a training holiday there were no doctors in the office and if I wanted to get it taken care of today I’d have to go up to L&D to have a Doc from up there sign it.  At this point we were done.  We went back to the lab and only did the glucose test.  If I wanted to do the RhoGAM after it was mixed at the blood bank I’d have to take it up to L&D to have them administer it because of the lack of Docs in the OB office.

I know why the military runs it’s hospitals this way and it totally makes sense but it also has a lot of potential to drive a person insane!  I should have known not to go today, given it is the Friday starting a long holiday weekend and that most offices would be short handed if not closed but my provider said to me on Wednesday that I needed to get this taken care of as soon as possible and that Friday wouldn’t be a problem.  I am pretty good about having all my i’s dotted and t’s crossed because I know it can easily turn into a jumbled mess if I’m not totally prepared however it seems that sometimes it is unavoidable.  For the most part, I love our hospital.  They were awesome when we had encountered some hurdles before Reece and they were amazing during the delivery and care after he was born.  If you are sticking to one department the process is usually smooth and easy but it seems when you need a referral or lab work it’s best to be prepared to spend the day going from place to place.