I got an email from our MOPPETS coordinator today that said there is room for Kylee to join the other babies in the 6-month room. It said if I was ‘ready’. If you saw me ten minutes after the email you would clearly see I am not ready.
Kylee is my little girl. She is sensitive and delicate and gentle and most of all, she is a mommy’s girl. You could be playing with her and think you are the center of her attention but if I walk in the room you quickly become chop liver and mommy makes the world go ’round. Because of that, it has become our routine for her to be with me whenever I am around. We are used to it. She is a little extension of me, my little wiggler who is happy to give my arms a good workout every day. When we are at MOPS, she bounces in my arms and smile at other people and kids. I would feel so empty without her in the meeting with me.
When Reece first went into the child care area with MOPS I cried. I had Kylee then, but dropping him off with strangers to play with other kids -and mommy not be around- hit an emotional key with me. I was prepared to be emotional and I was. When we entered the room he ran off to play with the toys and didn’t even look up to say “bye.” It sucked that he wasn’t heartbroken when I left but knowing he was okay was what I needed so I didn’t breakdown more. I knew Kylee wouldn’t be like Reece was which is another reason I was not ready for her to join MOPPETS; there would be a lot of tears from both parties.
I sat in quiet as the weight of that email sank over me. At first, I was numb. I messaged a friend about what was running through my head when it really hit me. I cried at the keyboard as I typed my concerns. Then I texted Kyle -he can always bring me back- asking him to call if he wasn’t too busy. Exactly five minutes later he called. All he said was “what’s up?’ and I lost it. I cried as I told him about the email. He chuckled then said “but the email said if you were “ready’. You don’t have to be ready and it’s obvious that you’re not. It’s okay.” I cried a bit longer than told him I was better so he can get back to what he was doing.
Just over an hour later the MOPPETS coordinator emailed me again. She was letting me know she made a mistake. She is from the MOPS from Fort Belvoir, our last MOPS group, not the one here in Hawaii. She realized that we left in October and wanted to apologize for bothering me again. Bother me! Not at all! I am relieved it isn’t time to separate from my Kylee yet!
I am happy it was a false alarm but it still got me thinking about this happening soon. In our MOPS here, kiddos go into MOPPETS when they turn one, instead of six months like our old one. I knew it wouldn’t be any easier than when I did it with Reece but I figured I’d at least know what to expect; how I’d feel. Wrong.